Cha Cha Changes... Not all reactions to change are the same.

August 30, 2017

Change, you either love it or you hate it.  I personally love it.  In fact I am so used to change that when things start to get comfortable and routine I feel an itch.  I don't like stagnation. Don't get me wrong I like routine but I equally enjoy breaking routine on a whim.  I am a bit rebellious that way.  I like to change my surroundings, I like to change my wardrobe, I like to try new things.  I feel most comfortable when I am constantly moving upwards and onwards.

 

I am learning that whether you like change or not the reality is that it's always going to come up and even if you are someone who embraces it with open arms you are probably going to come in contact with someone who does NOT.  Although my partner and I both moved a lot as kids he differs from me and does not welcome or seek out change. My daughter, who is always reminding me just how much of her own person she is, also has a hard time letting go of what is and accepting what is new. Every time I take for granted that she will approach each situation the same as me she stops me in my tracks and forces me to examine and learn to understand a different point of view.  We have just moved to a new city so there is a LOT of change coming her way and she is terrified.  There have been a lot of anger, frustration and sadness as she processes the feeling that come along with a big move. She doesn't have years of practice at making new friends or adapting to new situations and none of it is exciting or fun for her.

 

I have been putting my coaching hat on a lot lately.  Remembering that I can't assume I know what she is feeling.  When I ask her what she is having a hard time with I have to keep digging after she answers with everything because I don't know what her everything is.  I can't use my map (my life's worth of experiences) to help her navigate this new chapter in her life but instead I have to try and learn how to read hers.  

 

One of my clients mentioned to me during one of our sessions that a Coach is like a Mother. She is right, Coaching is a lot like parenting.  Asking the right questions to try and lead our client to where we envision them being while at the same time being careful not to take over and imprint our map onto theirs. We try to give them the right tools to discover what is the right path for them while being both a cheerleader and one who holds them accountable. I've been told that I am a great Mother and my hope is that I am an equally great Coach. My clients will be coming to me with help in all areas of their lives but the common theme will be looking for and getting comfortable with, you guessed it - CHANGE.

 

 

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